23rd August 2010

2010-08-23T07:51:00.001+01:00

Firstly, an apology to myself and to you dear reader.

I haven't posted for a short while for two reasons;

1) I have only been trading intermittently due to holidays

2) I lost my discipline last week and was a bit down.

On the 19th Aug, I noticed that the DAX had been hitting big resistance at the 6220 area and I had one SHORT open at that level. Some US data came out and everything sold off in a nice 150+ pt move. But, I only had a small position on this and was disappointed that I didn't have the courage to go with my conviction.

The next day I overtraded massively in an attempt to catch another big trade but only succeeded in losing money and frustrating myself.

Anyway ... today is a new day.

9th and 10th Aug 2010

2010-08-11T10:42:00.001+01:00

Mixed results over the last two days.

Monday was characterised by overtrading and being chopped up by a slow day which ground up to recent highs and caused losses of capital.

Tuesday was a better day when I could have made a lot more if I had a plan!!

I withdrew money from trading accounts on both days, not because I wanted to, but because I needed it!

NEED A PLAN TOO!!!

8th August 2010

2010-08-09T17:07:00.001+01:00

A much better day today!

Made a good profit thanks to a nice fall in the DAX.

However, I still didn't actually trade to a plan and could have made a
lot more money.

Still, its nice to end the week on a positive note.

5th August 2010

2010-08-06T16:50:00.001+01:00

Another disappointing day. Started OK and recovered my losses BUT, I
keep holding on to positions that I should be closing in the hope that
they will deliver a better profit.

One of my problems is that I tend to think that this trade 'is it!' -
meaning the 'big winner'! Of course these happen now and again, but I
should really concentrate on making consistent, small winners. DUH!

I also traded against a sharp spiky trend - again!

4th August 2010

2010-08-05T07:31:00.001+01:00

The day started well - I traded lightly and waited for patterns - but for some reason when the DAX spiked up I AGAIN traded against the trend, losing what I've recently made.

Disappointing - again. The only thing I can attribute this lack of discipline to is a great deal of pressure to make money at the moment.

3rd August 2010

2010-08-04T08:06:00.001+01:00

A choppy, flat day. Good points; didn't overtrade. Bad points; kept trying to trade both ways! Still can't define my setups and stick to them - aaargghh!

2nd Aug 2010

2010-08-02T23:23:00.001+01:00

Disappointing start to the week. Didn't make many trades and because of other situations I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to trade.

Generally I traded against the trend EVEN THOUGH IT WAS OBVIOUSLY UP!

30th July 2010

2010-07-31T14:19:00.001+01:00

The day started badly. I was hugely disappointed at my lack of progress on the 29th, but I traded anyway.

After a couple of bad early trades, I caught a couple of big moves (with very small trades!) and made a little bit of money, so the day (and week) didn't end so badly.

Hopefully I've learned another lesson.

29th Jul 2010

2010-07-30T07:46:00.001+01:00

Very disappointing. The day started off really well, I lost a little but dug in and made it back to even. Then I took a position at the recent double top (6241) which I'd sort of been waiting for.

Then I screwed up by overtrading, lacking patience and being afraid of losing. This showed up by me taking a position at one end of a trading range then an opposing trade at the other end of the range and holding them too long so the profits reduced to zero.

Ended the day down after 21 trades!!! Grrrr.

Issues; overtrading, discipline, trying to trade in both directions.

July 28th 2010

2010-07-29T07:45:00.000+01:00

Wow! A positive day!

Overtraded AGAIN though, and looking back at my trades, there was no sign following setups - it was mainly gut feeling.

Concentrate on discipline and setups.

27th July 2010

2010-07-28T07:57:00.001+01:00

Kept the losses smaller, but still trading too much and against the trend.

Need discipline.

July 26th 2010

2010-07-26T22:25:00.001+01:00

Only 4 trades today. Did OK, but panicked on last one and took a bad entry.

My indicators worked well - if only I'd followed them!

Equity curve - Jul 23rd 2010

2010-07-23T22:19:00.000+01:00

Another failed day, overtraded, lost discipline, traded against trend.

Equity curve

2010-07-22T17:17:00.001+01:00

Equity curve

2010-07-22T17:13:00.001+01:00

July 2010

2010-07-12T11:25:00.001+01:00

Still here.

DAX, long, £2/pt, 6015 - demo

2010-06-29T10:32:00.000+01:00

Bounce from 6000 area?

Stop: 5980

Target: 6080-90 (Daily open)

Stopped out of trade yesterday.

2010-06-29T10:26:00.001+01:00

-10 pts. Trend was down.

DAX, long, £2/pt, 6140 - demo

2010-06-28T17:40:00.001+01:00

Support at previous highs?

Target 6170+

Stop 6130

And so...

2010-06-28T17:09:00.001+01:00

Hi!

Its been a while since my last mail.

Over the last few months, I carried on the same pattern of trading badly
and losing money (aka building debt!).

However, I've also been making steady inroads into understanding why I
trade so badly, why I'm so undisciplined etc.

I believe (hope!) that I am closer now than I've ever been to being able
to do this properly.

I have charts with no indicators, working mainly from support and
resistance lines that become visible to me. This keeps the process
simple. I've stopped shoving me into accounts as if they were slot
machines and am really trying to instil into myself that there is ALWAYS
going to be another opportunity. PATIENCE!

Today, I started off the week well (in demo mode) and took some good
trades without any fuss. I just need to decode exactly what my trigger
was and keep working like this for a while.

We'll see.

June 2010

2010-06-28T16:57:00.001+01:00

I am an addict.

2010-03-23T15:40:00.000Z

****************************************************

I AM AN ADDICT.

I HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL OR DISCIPLINE.

I HAVE WASTED MONEY & TIME FOR BETWEEN 5-10 YEARS.

****************************************************

There, I've said it.

Over the last couple of months I have tried so hard to develop
self-discipline, control and patience with very little success. I'm
deeply in debt.

Last weekend I read a quote from Steenbargers site which basically said
that if you've traded for this many years and not made any money then
the problem is trading itself - or in my case a part of me that I can't
seem to control, namely the gambling urge.

I spend hours and hours on a daily, weekly, monthly basis just staring
at screens, looking for patterns and entry points, creating indicators
and setups then when it comes to executing I end up panicking, not
waiting for price to hit a target, entering badly (usually against the
trend) and 'sweating' when the price moves against me (tending to move
stops back to 'PROTECT' the trade?!!). If the price moves in my
direction then I quickly close it because of fear of losing profit.

Everything is wrong. I've failed my kids all because I can't admit that
I've been gambling. I can try to dress it up in fancy terms and say I've
been 'trading' but its just not true. My actions and trades are just
symptoms of gambling rather than a patient, planned trade.

Its pathetic when I think back to all of the times I've talked to myself
and wished I had just a few more hundred pounds to trade with, or more
time, or better kit ...

I'm going to try and go cold turkey and keep away from trading for at
least one week day, gradually building up to days at a time.

Talking about this, realising what it means makes me so 'down' because
I've really wanted to be able to do this - in my heart I know I can be
good but this stupid gambling 'urge' breaks the discipline/control
process. I see great setups, my 'little voice' (instinct based on
watching thousands of hours of patterns) tells me what to do, then ... I
IGNORE IT AND TRY TO TRADE AGAINST IT (MYSELF?!)!

ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Tired. More later - maybe.

The end of the beginning ...

2010-01-25T13:21:00.001Z

Happy New Year.

Just an update on my current progress.

I've had so many dark times over the last few weeks and months.

I've felt like giving in so many times but there is a burning star
inside of me that refuses to die.

And so I continue.

Since my last post I went through the cycle of inventing / using /
modifying / deleting indicators in order to make me a 'better trader'.

Of course, none of it worked. I still lost money.

However something has been slowly changing inside of me. Something that
isn't quite producing any results yet but it has promise.

Currently I trade naked - so to speak - I have no indicators, no values,
no bollingers, no pivots ... nothing at all except pure price action on
my charts.

I've used this method for about one week now and I am beginning to
achieve consistent results.

Slowly I'm removing all of the 'daemons' that have been causing me to
fail and I am seeing patterns in price action without any assistance,
after which I draw my own S/R lines and trade from there.

More another time.

December 09

2009-12-21T16:01:00.000Z

Note to self.

Have been trading very 'quietly' the last few months.

Trying to build discipline and a valid trading plan that suits me.

Was doing OK until today but went off the 'rails' a bit today by
ignoring plan, trend and discipline.

Grrr.

Test - dec 09

2009-12-21T14:58:00.000Z

For what its worth ...

2009-09-11T11:44:00.000+01:00

A bit of self confession.

Well, I've lost everything I had and more (financially) and I owe
thousands which I can't repay.

All in the name of trying to succeed at trading.

I do and don't regret what I've done. My mistakes will cost me and my
family in lost opportunities (holidays, presents, entertainment etc) and
a damaged credit score for years to come.

On the other hand I've gained a lot of insight into myself and I believe
that I'll be a better person because of it.

It is a sad fact for me (and for most people in general) that the
lessons I REALLY needed to learn / have drilled into my head are the
ones that I am only truly learning now.

I trade via a demo account, I write daily journals and have become more
disciplined - becoming overcautious in fact.

My trade triggers are still not properly defined although I have been
using Fibonacci levels more successfully now.

Not sure where this goes now. I'd still like to believe I can be
successful and I'll continue demo trading like this because constant
repetition of positive trades will help my self belief.

To summarise, I've screwed up in a big way over the last 5 years
(probably longer) and I don't know a way forward. I'm a very optimistic
person by nature but it seems misguided at present!

Bye for now.

Don't want to talk right now ...

2009-04-30T09:30:00.000+01:00

Still here - for what its worth!

Had a bad couple of weeks, lost more money etc etc.

I thought I was on the right track by using a trading journal etc.

BUT FOR SOME REASON, I JUST STOPPED USING IT.

Can't figure this out...

Still here ...

2009-04-21T11:27:00.001+01:00

Hi!

Sorry for the absence!

Still here, still trading. Just figuring out my entry points and trying
to develop more discipline.

More later - hopefully...

THE LAST TIME!

2009-04-09T17:26:00.001+01:00

Well, where to start.

I am still here (just), and still trading (a little more methodically - more about this soon).

Over the last couple of weeks I managed to more-or-less stabilise my trading and had no more big-big losses (hmm, more in a minute) - even managing to make a little money.

During this time I finally identified my main weaknesses as (in order of importance);

- very poor discipline
(- overtrading / fear of trading, entering trades for no obvious reason - mainly through need for the 'rush' or fear of missing a 'big move')

- no trading egde
(couldn't see what my trading 'triggers' were - what caused me to enter and exit a trade.)

- no record keeping / trading journal

Next, I spent a considerable amount of time on resolving these issues - with some success.

My solution(s) mainly revolved around the creation (after many iterations) of a single page trading journal (one page per trade) which encapsulates; asset, date/time, account, entry/exit reason, emotions as well as a daily summary of; equity, thoughts and lessons learned.

I believe this document will be a huge step-forward in my trading ability.

BUT, my lack of discipline is going to 'kill' me in the end - if I don't find a way to control it.

Looking back through my life, this has been a major cause of problems, for various reasons. I tend to throw caution to the wind and sometimes (lots!) have a haphazard way of solving problems. THIS WON'T WORK WITH TRADING!! I find myself itching to enter trades, close them for no apparent reason, trade against the trend (hoping to catch the big counter-trend move) etc.

How can I fix it?

It seems the only way is to (1) design my trading journal to graphically confront me with a visualisation of the trend, and (2) physically force myself to fill the trading journal in first.

However, yesterday and today - for some reason - I succumbed to my lack of discipline, overtrading, trading against the trend, setting stops too tight, trading via mobile. I identified it at the time, but at the actual moment - in the heat of the moment, I couldn't seem to stop myself. THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL FIX.

For my own benefit (because I don't think anyone reads this ... so what!) I will state here and now (5.23pm, 8th April 2009) that;

I WILL NOT TAKE TRADES WITHOUT CONSULTING MY TRADING JOURNAL (OR A PROXY) AND/OR WITHOUT IDENTIFYING A SOLID REASON FOR ENTERING OR EXITING THE POTENTIAL TRADE.

I WILL NOT FAIL AND LET THIS BECOME YET ANOTHER AREA OF MY LIFE WHERE I JUST CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO TRY HARD ENOUGH.

More another time ... hopefully.

Discipline versus Instinct

2009-03-25T09:56:00.000Z

Hi!

Just a quick note to say that I managed to overcome an 'urge' to trade
via mobile this morning using discipline!

It's a small thing but I'm quite please about it - doubly so because the
trade would have gone wrong!

Another Monday ...

2009-03-23T10:05:00.001Z

Good morning,

I want this week to be different.

Last week, my performance began to change - for the better too.

I'm still desperately short of cash and really need a few hundred this week.

However, since I started forcing more self-discipline upon myself by keeping a trading diary and forcing myself to consider each trade, the number of 'dodgy' trades has dropped off.

I've still missed several great trades which I could 'see' in advance (like the 2 or 3 big bounces from 3950 and 4000) which could have made me around £2K on Friday - even from my impoverished base.

I feel like I can 'see' things more clearly and I'm avoiding getting caught up so much in the 'trigger-happy' atmosphere of earlier times.

We'll see.

Bad start ...

2009-03-18T09:44:00.000Z

Morning! Bright and sunny outside, slightly cloudy inside!

I went off plan three times between last night and this morning.

After taking a FTSE trade last night without a good reason (closed for a
slight loss this morning) I compounded my errors by trading the DAX this
morning from my mobile (something I promised not to do) - the DAX jumped
up to 3852 so I took out a short with a 13 point stop. Of course (!!!)
the DAX peformed a double top at the 3866 level which just stopped me
out by 1 point, then proceeded to drop to 4030 (currently).

I was doing well yesterday and now I've given some of my profit back.

Stupid error but I will overcome it.

Currently I have a small DAX short from 4047.

Tues PM update ...

2009-03-17T14:49:00.000Z

Well, I hate to tempt fate but ... My persistence and determination may
be starting to pay off.

I've executed a few trades today (admittedly my timing could have been
better) but I've made some profit, resisted the urge to overtrade and
tried to manage the trades better.

Currently I have a small DAX short from 4041 and I'm not sure when to
close it. On one hand I'm tempted to let it run and leave the stop at
breakeven and on the other hand, the DAX has found support at 3970-ish
and has bounced up to 3990.

I need to formulate a strategy for situations like this.

Keeping it tight ...

2009-03-17T09:01:00.000Z

Started off today in a better way - sort of.

Had an overnight DAX short from yesterday which was stopped out for +23
points (50p / point).

Today the DAX 'popped up' to 4045, however I jumped in too early and
shorted from the open at about 4027 for no real reason than I might
'miss a big move'!

This feeling (of potentially missing a big move) is a recurring theme
with me and I suspect it has caused many badly timed (losing) trades in
the past.

Anyway, back to today, after popping to 4045 it encountered a zone of
resistance and dropped back to 3990 so my badly timed trade is in profit
after all - the stop is at B/E. (I should have closed the trade at 3990
- support area - and went long).

Forcing myself to write down each trade is helping with discipline by
forcing me to trade less and consider each trade carefully.

More later.

Update ..

2009-03-16T15:18:00.001Z

Hmmm.

Something is still not quite right. By now I should be about £100 up.

After losing my first trade this morning, I identified a good trade and entry point then executed the trade.

I managed it until it hit 4012-ish - then closed half of it.

First error; Closing half of trade for no obvious reason.

Second error; going long on the DAX at the wrong point (too early) and getting stopped out.

Third error; Trying to short the DAX again (when it has formed a base around the 3980-4000 area) and is heading up.

Good analyis!

Now I need to step back, be patient and wait for the next entry.

Nearly ...

2009-03-16T14:20:00.001Z

After taking some of my DAX trade position off I (stupidly) put on a DAX long from 4009 (£1/point, stop: 3989) in case there was a bounce from 4000.

The trade was stopped out for -20 points!! I should have looked at the price action and worked from that instead.

I wasted some of my profit from this morning by overtrading!!

Physically I feel anxious to make a trade and get a good start to the week (which I could have had if I'd shorted £10/point from 4050!).

Heart rate increased, watching screens too much. Feel like I'm heading towards the 'Precipice' - STEP BACK NOW!!!

Monday again ...

2009-03-16T13:20:00.000Z

OK.

Here we are at Monday, and another chance to prove to myself that I can do this.

My promises to myself this week are;

- I WILL NOT OVERTRADE / COMPULSIVELY TRADE

- I WILL FOLLOW MY PLAN

- I WILL WRITE DOWN ALL OF MY LIVE TRADES IN MY DIARY

- I WILL ATTEMPT TO LET MY TRADES RUN

- I WILL NOT MOVE MY STOPS ONCE IN PLACE

I carried a FTSE short over from the weekend which closed at B/E this morning.

Next, I noticed the DAX struggling around 4020 so I entered a £1/p short. This was way too early and I should have realised that the DAX would attempt the double top from last week - which it did. (Lost about £45 in this trade)

After re-shorting from 4050-ish I moved my stop to breakeven very quickly - which was a mistake because the DAX bumped into the 4050-ish region three times before dropping.

I did catch the short entry from 4048 at £1/point. This trade is currently open, DAX is now at 4011 and my target is 3950.

Thinking about removing half the position to keep profits.

So, I'm beginning the week in a more positive note but at the risk of sounding like a broken record; I REALLY NEED SOME MONEY!!!! (about £4-500 would be great this week).

TTFN

confession

2009-03-13T11:56:00.001Z

I wish I was a better person;

- I wish I had the discipline to open and close trades correctly

- I wish I hadn't wasted so much money (debt!) getting here

- I wish I could believe in myself and what I can do

Why can I see the trades but avoid taking them?

Fed up!

The Precipice

2009-03-13T09:56:00.000Z

I'm really close to the Precipice this morning.

I've missed lots of points this week because I've ignored good trades
and taken bad ones (against the trend).

I really need the money but I'm trying to stay calm and back away from
the edge.

Its not the fact that I've lost a lot of money this week, because I
haven't.

Its just that I need to make money and trade properly.

usual story ...

2009-03-12T21:50:00.001Z

so ...

for some reason, even though I have been more strict with myself I am still missing out on big rallys and overtrading with stupid trades like 50p per point.

Today, I had a DAX short from yesterday (3917, 50p per point) which I followed all the way down to 3800 (without adding on the way!), watched it consolidate at 3800 for 45mins then proceed to rocket up, eventually ending around 4000!!!

I don't really need more money to do this well. I just need to f*cking trade properly.

And now, its nearly Friday again!!!

Goodnight.

Back on the track...

2009-03-11T11:26:00.000Z

Last night I was pretty disappointed with myself for not trading well and missing out on big money with the DAX/FTSE rally, also for wasting money by ignoring my trading rules.

This morning, I caught a few points on the DAX, was too cautious to trade with my voodoo account and missed another 100+ point rocket.

However, I have pulled myself back, setup a new (more usable) trading diary and entered some trades (very small) which are working OK.

I need about £150 today - which I could have made in 1 hour this morning if I'd traded properly.

Feel calmer now but looking for opportunities.

The Precipice

2009-03-10T14:15:00.000Z

The symptoms I described earlier will form part of the condition I will
call 'The Precipice'.

Reason being; if you approach The Precipice and ignore the warning signs
you WILL spiral down through a combination of overtrading and risk
taking into a zero account balance.

So, the symptoms of 'The Precipice' are;

- ignoring the trend - or getting sucked into charts that you are
oblivious to it

- overtrading

- trading without a plan (not even bothering to write trades down)

- hope trading

###########################

In order to avoid The Precipice;

WALK AWAY - SWITCH OFF - DON'T TRADE

###########################

Today (10-3-09) I stepped over The Precipice (slightly) and lost money
from one account while missing out on a massive +200point rally.

Lying ...

2009-03-10T12:57:00.000Z

Also ... I'm really just lying to myself.

Why?

Well, as much as I'm trying to stick to this 'approach' of
entering/managing/exiting trades using rules and always writing them
down, I must confess (to myself obviously!) that there are still too
many times when I'm just now following the plan.

STOP NOW - YOU HAVE LOST TOO MUCH TO AVOID CHANGE!!

BE PATIENT - FOLLOW THE PLAN - DON'T OVERTHINK - DON'T FIDDLE - EXECUTE
THE TRADE PROPERLY.

Stepped off ...

2009-03-10T12:46:00.000Z

OK.

I need to admit, just now (12.40pm) I stepped off my plan - I entered a
trade (about 4 trades actually) without any valid entry conditions and
now I'm going to pay the price - probably by losing.

This problem started last night when I entered a short DAX trade about 1
min before the market closed because I was frustrated at missing out on
some big points that I'd actually seen in advance.

Why can't I just stop doing this and trade properly!!!!!

I'm disappointed at myself.

Kidding myself

2009-03-09T17:00:00.000Z

I've just had this nagging thought that perhaps I'm just 'kidding'
myself about this trading 'lark'.

Afterall, although I've learned a little more today, I haven't earned
any REAL (BIG!) money. And, I haven't done as much work (at work) as I
should have done. In fact I've done very little.

Happy Monday...

2009-03-09T16:51:00.000Z

Hi!

Well, last week finished relatively badly. I lost money in my voodoo account (and 2 others) by trying to catch a falling knife (the DAX!).

Later I was long the FTSE from around 3510 when it dropped to 3470-ish. I had to leave the PC so I set a stop at 3450 and a limit at 3512 in case it bounced into the close.

It did bounce - and what a bounce - right up to 3560. Of course, I missed those extra 50 pts because of the limit at 3512!!! Grrr.

Today has been OK. I've made some small amounts, traded small and infrequently, to a plan (as much as possible) but sort of missed out on a nice +100 pointer rally which I saw in advance.

If I'd traded with my instinct I would have been around £1000 up today. Unfortunately, instincts don't usually fit with plans.

I AM NOT GOING TO GET TO FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND BE IN THE SAME POSITION AS THE LAST FEW WEEKS (ie. Regretting not taking trades).

Up and down!

2009-03-05T16:43:00.000Z

Well, the DAX has ended the day at around 3700!

Now I keep thinking ... If only I'd kept those shorts from 3920!!!

And ... Why couldn't I SEE this day long downtrend/sell-off?

I've seen this happen before, but even now instead of following the
trend I'm still trying to look for reversal points instead of waiting.

Spouting more ...

2009-03-05T14:20:00.000Z

Again, drawing positives from this, it appears that I have followed the
correct course of action in dealing with this situation.

Namely, that I have;

- traded 'small' and infrequently

- used my demo account more to test my idea's (thereby highlighting that
I am 'out of tune' with the market)

- didn't trade against the downtrend like I would have done in the past

Its frustrating though that I somehow refused to accept the downtrend
even though it was in front of me.

Burn out??

2009-03-05T14:01:00.001Z

Furthermore, from my previous comment;

Either;

- I can't see the patterns because there aren't any

- I haven't accepted that there has been a switch between hourly uptrend
(yesterday) and hourly downtrend (today)

- I am 'burned out' because of chart watching too much

Not sure which yet, or whether one leads to another.

Quite out of it...

2009-03-05T13:48:00.000Z

Hi,

I feel quite 'out of it' today.

After missing all of the points on Tuesday/Wednesday, I felt out of
focus this morning.

Also, the trades I placed late yesterday (shorting the DAX from 3930)
which I closed because I thought I was trading against the trend too
much turned out to be right! Currently the DAX is trading around 3750!!
I would have taken nearly 200 points!! Damn.

I've spent time today trying to identify why I missed this huge
opportunity and I can only see some vague triggers at the moment.
Perhaps it would have been wiser to follow the overall daily trend and
short any large rallies.

On the positive side, I did stick to a procedure to deal with a
potential over-trading situation which might - in different
circumstances - have lost me a lot more money.

I really wanted to make some money this week, but its Thursday afternoon
and it looks like I'll be heading into Saturday with zero increase in
funds.

Grrr!!!

despondent

2009-03-04T22:29:00.001Z

I'm feeling quite despondent now, as if I've missed yet another chance to make enough money to dig myself out of this hole.

I know there will be other days, there always have been and I've felt like this many times.

But ...

Goodnight.

More midweek...

2009-03-04T21:45:00.001Z

Gained a bit, lost a bit today.

I'm feeling frustrated and anxious for missing out on the easy money yesterday and this morning - I could have cleared about £3000 without much difficulty,

However, in my effort to draw positives from this I can say that;

- later on, I noticed that I was starting to place trades against the trend (lost about £40) which didn't follow my plan

- to counteract this I just closed the positions I held and stopped trading

I thought the DAX would keep going up until close, however after I closed the positions, it proceeded to drop about 45 points!!

Oh well.

The last couple of weeks have provided a large number of points which I haven't collected - to my frustration. However, I haven't blown a lot of money either and the trading via my demo account is going very well.

In some ways I feel as if I should wrap up now for the week because I will have a tendency to chase trades out of desperation.

Midweek update

2009-03-04T11:41:00.001Z

Happy Wednesday!

Its that time of the week again and I'm trying to draw some positives.

Firstly, I missed some very easy points on Tuesday (we are talking swings of +/- 70 points with low risk.

I did trade them very well on my demo account (and a little on my live accounts) but not on my voodoo account which is the one I need to break.

One account did suffer some loss because of a trade taken last week.

However;

- I didn't overtrade
- I traded to a plan (mostly)
- I avoided trading both ways (mostly)
- I only needed to top-up one account (see earlier - but only by £12)

I have decided that I've entered (tentatively) a new trading period.

Therefore I will call the time before 1st March 2009 as SFT (Stupid F*ckwit Trader) and times after 1st March 2009 as EST (Enlightened Superior Trader)!!

Only hope I can get the capital to continue the change.

So, patience - wait for the setup - act - don't hesitate - cut out the midbrain.

what the problem really is ...

2009-03-02T22:52:00.001Z

the real problem is that;

I just want to be able to do something special,

for someone to recognise that I'm different,

to be able to 'show off' if I want,

for my partner to believe in me,

for me to believe in me,

I want people to see that I can do something really well, something better than most other people,

to stop feeling like I have a 'second-best' life,

to be able to get the things I want, even if some of them are stupid and shallow,

to stop making excuses for myself

.............

goodnight

Volatility

2009-03-02T16:44:00.001Z

More...

After some thought, I'm going to make a concious decision to trade both
long term and short term because of the current market volatility. With
this level of volatility I am just leaving potential profit 'on the
table' by attempting to catch largeer swings - we are getting +/- 100
points per day for Gods' sake!

So, my strategy will be;

1) take a (small-ish) position in one index for a longer term trade

2) simultaneously I will 'day-trade' via another index (or perhaps use
the same index through another trading account)

Bye...

Monday update

2009-03-02T16:21:00.001Z

Hi!

Still here, still needing the money!!

Kept my trading under control today. I had a DAX short (50p/point) from 3870 that I took out on Friday PM. This is performing OK - the DAX is currently 3725.

Ideally I'd like to try and hold it for a longer period and see if the DAX drops further. However, I find it difficult to avoid trading the swings on the 15min / 60 min charts. So, I've used my demo account to trade them instead.

Even so, I'm still trying to drastically limit the number of trades I place.

Is there any progress?

Well, I'm still aware of 'chart-watching' far too much - considering I'm at work too! - but I haven't topped-up any of my accounts for about a week (don't have the money to anyway).

Also, I am forcing myself to use my trading plan template before entering a trade which is cutting down on the discretionary trades.

It would be fantastic if I could keep this going and make about £500 this week.

Whatever, I don't want to be in the same 'Friday position' this week.

Bye for now...

First live trade...

2009-02-27T10:16:00.001Z

Long DAX from 3849, £1 per point, stop @ 3837.

Reason; MACD divergence, support around 3840 area.

Initial Target; 3885

Secondary target; 3900

Another Friday ...

2009-02-27T07:29:00.001Z

Well, here I am sitting in front of my laptop at 7am on Friday morning.

I hope and want and need that this will not be another Friday where I avoid making trades, make no money (or worse; lose some) and head into another despondent weekend.

Yesterday, I noticed also that even though I see a trade pattern that I recognise, there seems to be some sort of 'mid-brain' filter that jumps in between seeing the pattern and acting on it. This 'filter' says something like "ah hah, but what if you are wrong this time and the pattern does not work and you fail ... again".

This seems to happen more when I develop this performance anxiety.

I need to find a way to switch it off, or dull its effect.

More later.

overtrading

2009-02-26T16:01:00.000Z

Happy Thursday!

The positives for this week are; ...

- I haven't overtraded (too much)
- I've stuck to a plan (for a large part of the time)
- I've traded small
- I haven't lost much(!!!)

However, since yesterday I've noticed a lot more performance anxiety
creeping in due to the fact I need the money and the number of trades
I've missed since Monday which worked out as I expected!

This manifests itself as; i) attempts at overtrading, ii) trading
without plan, iii) looking at charts far too much.

If only I could have some financial breathing space and allow myself
just to settle back, wait for the right trades and gain the confidence
to execute the trades I know are good.

Oh well. I'll just need to keep clinging on by my fingertips!

Still in f*cked-up-city

2009-02-24T13:58:00.001Z

Good afternoon.

I've only placed a couple of small trades today (1 with plan, 1 without).

Feeling quite despondent after; 1) losing money yesterday (a small-ish amount (less than £200) - but any loss is difficult now), 2) trading in a panic, 3) missing out on some big moves (which I actually did see in advance; see post from yesterday).

Trying to 'drag' myself around but I am so low on capital (trading and living) that I am 'scraping the barrel' and will probably be in debt for quite a few years while repaying (paying!) for my mistakes.

Its so damn frustrating because I just KNOW I can do this.

Bye for now.

f*ck up ... again

2009-02-23T17:10:00.001Z

Hmmmm.

Today was going ok until I stopped trading according to plan!

The DAX has sunk to around 3915 and I have tried to 'catch' it twice on the way down - needless to say, I lost money - a relatively large amount too.

So, here I am, regretting not taking the DAX short from 4100 as mentioned earlier.

Why didn't I? Well, I thought it might be heading a lot higher and didn't want to overtrade.

I need also to work on the balance between chart invtervals that I am using.

New week

2009-02-23T12:43:00.001Z

Hi!

Still here (hanging on by broken fingernails!) but going to attempt to
improve my trading again this week by;

- trading only from a plan
- not overtrading

Had a DAX long from 4015 (50p/point) which I wanted to leave on until
the DAX hits 4300 (or more).

However, this is proving very difficult - even using 1hr and 4hr charts.

For example, this morning, the DAX moved up to 4110 (ish) and I was very
tempted to close the trade and take the +95 points.
Instead, I consciously decided to move my stop up to 4050 from breakeven
to protect some profits.

I thought at the time that a DAX short from the 4100 area would have
been a good move, but again I ignored that trade to avoid overtrading.

My stop was hit (4050, for +35 points) when the DAX dropped from 4110
and is currently at 4035!

Yes, I tried to manage the trade ... But, leaving all of those points on
the table is very difficult.

Aiming to capture those big, long timeframe swings is going to be
difficult!

Lost it...

2009-02-19T17:01:00.001Z

Really struggled to trade properly today and ended up taking trades without a clear plan.

Overtraded too.

Reason? I think I was anxious to get a 'big' trade after missing out on the points yesterday - as I've mentioned, I REALLY need the money!!

Nothing else to say - but I must try and concentrate on positives.

temptation

2009-02-18T16:21:00.000Z

Damn! I keep looking at all of the points available today and wishing
...

Maybe I should just switch it off because this makes me want to force a
trade!

Stay calm ... Practice your plan and be patient.

Spinning

2009-02-18T16:15:00.000Z

Just reflecting on today, I feel as though I have done a lot but
accomplished very little financially.

Which I guess is OK because my focus should be on the methods / plan I
use rather than winning or losing.

However, right now, today, I really need the money!!!

So far, so ...

2009-02-18T15:44:00.000Z

Well, a definite improvement in trading today.

{pat on back}

I could have done better by not trading in two directions on my small
live account - this would have increased the gains I made.

After digesting my lessons from today I will need to confront my
nemesis! That is, my voodoo account - the trading account where I have
lost the most money by far, and where all of my past attempts seems to
have turned to sh*te!

I still have time today but even before placing a trade, and in spite of
my relative success today I am feeling apprehensive.

Too many positions

2009-02-18T14:52:00.000Z

Noticed something else too.

I have a tendency to take on too many positions and open too many
trading platforms at once (eg. Long GBP/USD, short DAX, short GOLD,
short FTSE etc) - this diverts attention away from my real work (which
pays the bills!) and also from effective trade management. As a
by-product this practice also increases anxiety and stress in constantly
having to attend to different platforms and positions.

The answer (obviously!!) is;

- use different trading accounts for different markets

- only trade in one direction at a time

- max. of 2 positions open and under management in real-time via a
maximum of 2 (but on average 1) trading platforms

Thoughts...

2009-02-18T14:26:00.000Z

Just some thoughts;

On days with quite big ranges (like today so far, down 90, up 70 on the
DAX), it is very difficult not to overtrade.

I wanted to close my shorts around 4160 and go long but because I am
trying to manage trades more proficiently and gain a lot more points I
ignored this (as much as possible) on my live account and only executed
the trades on my demo account.

Not sure how to resolve this except by trying to 'guess' what sort of
day its going to be; either straight down, straight up, or range trade.

Can I (should I) accept missing out on +70 points because I want to
(hopefully) gain more in the future? How do I know what will happen in
the future!

update

2009-02-18T14:18:00.000Z

Closed the DAX long at 4205 for + 50 points! Should have set the target
at the 30ema (about 4225)!

No reverse trade yet.

FTSE long still open from 4100 (set to stop at breakeven).

concentration

2009-02-18T13:28:00.001Z

One thing I'm noticing is that it seems more difficult to maintain
concentration and focus when trading lightly like this.

Probably because I keep looking at the 1 and 4 hour charts and thinking
- 'nothing seems to have changed'!

New trades

2009-02-18T13:19:00.001Z

Opened 2 long trades from my demo account because of support on the 1
hour charts.

Long FTSE from 4001 (stop: 3975, target 4060), long DAX from 4172 (stop
4145, target 4240).

The target prices may move depending on price action.

Closed DAX trade

2009-02-18T11:36:00.000Z

I stuck to my rules (nearly!!) and closed my DAX short for +65 points
because it had 3 bars of support on the 60min chart and the CCI10 line
had crossed up over -100.

However, I have reservations about this because of the general negative
trend of the market - therefore, I kept open my small live short and set
it to breakeven while going long the FTSE from 4000 on my demo account.

It's a further step towards a working system of rules to stop
emotionally based trading.

Update

2009-02-18T11:06:00.000Z

My DAX trade is still open. The price has moved to 4175 and I have
defined an exit rule for this trade (something I've never really done
before).

I was tempted to close the trade at 4155 and take profits then go long
based on the 15min chart showing an upswing BUT I'm going to attempt to
manage this trade on a longer timeframe and wait for my target of around
4100 (or less - this depends on how weak the market is).

A step closer

2009-02-18T10:22:00.000Z

I moved a step closer to regaining control of my trading - mainly due to reading stuff from the website mentioned in a previous post and also from controlling the irrational instinct to overtrade.

Also, I've created an outline plan and a diary/trading journal the layout of which forces me to check market sentiment over multiple timeframes before taking a decision.

I've been trading in small amounts (less than £1 per point) via one live account and taking similar trades on a demo account.

This morning I took a good short on the DAX from 4250 (currently at 4156) for all of the right reasons. I only wish I went in live at £10 per point - this would have helped greatly.

Still, I'm not overtrading now and I look for better quality trades. Next I need to focus on trade management.

Bye...

Re-think

2009-02-16T10:14:00.001Z

Hi,

After a poor week last week and despite all of the possibilities, I spent time over the weekend considering my options.

I feel nearly ready to quit because I have wasted so much money pursuing this 'cause'.

The 'nagging' problem whose solution eluded me is that I am losing because I still have no plan or method for entering or managing or exiting trades. I don't control the process because I trade too emotionally, frequently trading for no obvious reason, or overtrading massively to try and catch a move, moving stops too much in the hope that a trade will come back etc.

During some research I came across a website (www.tradingpsychology1.com) that has some really good, informative, practical help and is obviously written by someone who has 'been there, done that'. The idea's have helped me today by making me stand back and evaluate what exactly I am doing.

Its quite in-depth and sometimes complicated - I am still reading it - but already it has begun to help me see some light.

This morning I decided to trade using my modified principles with a demo account which I will treat entirely as 'real money' - there is a reward to be had from this because the company offers a £1000 real trading account for the weekly winner.

No 'real' trades at the moment.

More later.

Hmmm

2009-02-11T10:25:00.000Z

I will send more updates later as I try and calm things down (mentally).

Currently I am short the DAX (from about 4500) via 2 of my trading accounts, long DAX from 1 account and long the FTSE from 2 of them. Small amounts only.

I need to get back to square one and dump some emotions.

F*ckeditup!!

2009-02-10T21:03:00.001Z

I'm still trying to analyse it but somehow I managed to pull failure from success!!

My trading was going ok - except for ignoring what the charts were telling me about double tops when I (for some reason) started to lose it and overtrade.

After placing trades chaotically since about 3pm, I have lost a couple of hundred pounds (not much for some!) but worse still, crashed through any controls I had in place to prevent this happening.

For gods sake! I can SEE the DOUBLE TOP on the FTSE and DAX charts but I didn't believe it because I bought into the idea that the 'USA bailout' would immediately make the markets go crazy and shoot up!

Well, they didn't and I wasted some money trying to catch falling knives.

Bugger.

I now have a FTSE long (25p / point, from 4200) and a DAX long from 4445 (£1/point).

I hate having to repeatedly learn these lessons.

DO NOT LISTEN TO THE NEWS OR ANY OTHER OPINIONS - BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU SEE YOURSELF.

Goodnight.

more ...

2009-02-10T14:06:00.000Z

Now opened another two trades.

This is starting to frustrate me now. I can feel the desire to keep 'fiddling' even though I am working on 1 hr and 4 hr charts.

So, currently I am; long DAX from 4600 (£1/point), long DAX from 4603 (75p/point), long FTSE from 4240 (25p/point) and short FTSE from 4267 (£1/point).

I am going to stop overtrading.

DAX long

2009-02-10T13:59:00.000Z

Tentative DAX long from 4600 (£1/point, stop; 4590, target; 4675).

No solid technical reason, just in case it tries for support at 4600.

Stopped out of DAX short

2009-02-10T12:46:00.000Z

My last DAX short from 4604 was stopped out for -12 points.

I thought the DAX would have dropped to 4560ish but in the end it
followed the indicators and jumped up to 4630.

FTSE long still on.

Feeling OK, but increasingly aware that I need to play the patience
game...

Stopped out

2009-02-10T11:48:00.001Z

I opened a DAX short trade from 4599 (£1/point) which was stopped out at 4609 (-10 points).

I believe the index will retest its morning low so I am going to re-short DAX from 4604 (£1/point, target 4560).

FTSE long still on.

Closed the DAX trade

2009-02-10T11:04:00.000Z

I just closed one of my trades - the DAX trade - for + 9 points because the price dropped slightly.

Stupid really, as my target hadn't been reached and the technicals are still pointing up.

MUST LET TRADES RUN!

FTSE long still open.

New trades

2009-02-10T10:03:00.000Z

While writing this I am becoming aware that I am beginning to overtrade.

I have opened speculative longs on the DAX (4580, £1/point, stop; 4565, target; 4615) and FTSE (4235, 50p/point, guaranteed stop; 4185, target; 4400).

I must slow down my level of trading and wait for positions to run their course.

Closed FTSE long

2009-02-10T09:48:00.000Z

Closed the FTSE long (25p/point) for +10 points because the stoploss was
guaranteed.

Normally I would have left it to ride but while there is a big
announcement due which will definetly move the markets I prefer to play
safe.

FTSE long

2009-02-10T09:32:00.000Z

Took some profit on the FTSE long (cut it down to 25p/point). Target
still 4270.

However, no rational reason to cut it - I just wanted to preserve some
profit and limit the downside.

Need to avoid doing that and let the trade run.

FTSE long

2009-02-10T09:17:00.001Z

Opened a small FTSE long from 4235 (50p / point), stop; 4190, target;
4270 (previous support).

Keep getting a feeling that I need to be in a trade in case I 'miss
out'.

Must avoid this feeling!

Closed trades

2009-02-10T09:06:00.001Z

I closed both my FTSE and DAX trades at breakeven because I wasn't sure
which way things were going - despite the fact my chart indicators said
'DOWN'!

I have been thrown by listening to the 'news' too much and not looking
at what prices are doing.

If I had followed my charts I would have still been short from the
double tops of FTSE 4330 and DAX 4680.

Lets see what happens today.

Finished today

2009-02-09T21:03:00.001Z

Well, slightly more successful day today.

Worth a few points - could have had a lot more though.

I currently have 2 open trades on my main account;

Long FTSE from 4305 (75p per point), G.S. at 4289

Short DAX from 4670 (75p per point), G.S. at 4696

I know that I didn't want to have two opposing trades but today is a special circumstance as the market could blow either way and I wanted to get in small for the ride.

Thanks for 'listening'!

Trimmed

2009-02-09T16:53:00.001Z

Perhaps I should have closed my DAX long at the 4680 double-top level
and re-shorted?

It has dropped about 30 points since then! However I did take some
profit and reduced the trade to 25p/point (wow!).

My FTSE short from 4330 is still on too.

Just wanted to avoid getting 'maimed' in the volatility when the bank
bailout is unveiled!

New trades

2009-02-09T16:10:00.001Z

Finding myself getting 'sucked-in' again - concentrating too much on
price action.

I have entered two new trades, a small DAX short (20p/point) from the
double top level of 4672 (guaranteed stop at 4715) in case the market
takes the news badly.

Also, a small FTSE short (75p per point) from 4332 - around the double
top area.

There was no technical reason to do this, only the fact that double tops
are nearly always worth a trade. All positions have guaranteed
stop-losses.

DAX long still open, stop moved up to 4630 to protect profits.

More later.

Closed DAX short for +4 pts

2009-02-09T14:34:00.001Z

In hindsight, I should really have just adjusted the stoploss to
breakeven.

Action without thought!

Anyway, it reduces the loss on my previous short.

DAX long is still open with stoploss at around breakeven (4610).

First slip-up

2009-02-09T14:08:00.001Z

My DAX short was stopped out for -11 - good example of following the signals!

However, I have immediately opened another DAX short from 4644 (£1/point, stop 4655).

Why have I done that? I had a vague feeling of being anxious about missing a trade.

Interesting; Both recent DAX short trades I have entered were based not on signals but on a feeling of anxiety over missing out on a big move.

I won't do it anymore.

Initiated a DAX short

2009-02-09T13:48:00.001Z

Initiated a DAX short (£1 per point) from 4636 (stop at 4648, target at 4520) because;

- price action still meeting resistance at 4640-ish

- MACD is negative

However, I really entered the trade because I felt an anxiety in not trading, in missing out on something.

Not the best of reasons to trade, particularly when CCI on 1hr and 4hr are pointing up and the market as a whole is anticipating great things from the USA bailout announcement.

Still have the DAX long from 4609.

I'm enjoying this style of trading more, but I must guard against itchy finger syndrome and only take obvious trades.

Good instinct!!!

2009-02-09T12:50:00.001Z

Well, the DAX short I wanted to open earlier would have paid off after
all! If I had went short at 4640, I could have earned +22 points by now!

I couldn't see any obvious technical justification (apart from a
weakness at 4640) on the 1 hour chart, however the 15min chart (which I
am trying to avoid) did show the potential failure more clearly.

Internals

2009-02-09T11:41:00.000Z

I really feel the 'need' to short the DAX! Price action is slow and its
sticking at 4640.

Although these aren't good technical reasons to open a short, I have
some 'tension' inside that is saying 'do something ... Open a short in
case it starts dropping'

I will resist the instinct this time and see what happens.

Other trades

2009-02-09T11:29:00.001Z

I forgot to mention - and I should - that I currently have other open
trades via different accounts.

Currently, I have;

- another DAX short from 4658 at 30p per point.

- a short on GBP/USD (about 10p per point) - getting creamed on it as
well

- a long on GBP/EUR (about 10p per point) - getting minted on that one
(relatively)

DAX update

2009-02-09T11:25:00.001Z

Closed my DAX short at 4634 for +2.5 points because; CCI still pointing
up, getting support around 4630.

Feel a little tense for some reason - maybe I was 'anxious' about losing
the small profit?

I think I closed too early - time will tell.

DAX long still open.

And me?

2009-02-09T11:02:00.001Z

Feel ok - calm, just waiting for a trade rather than becoming manic about having a position and overtrading.

Disappointed that I didn't go in heavier on my DAX long (£10 per point would have been nice!).

DAX update

2009-02-09T11:01:00.000Z

1) Trimmed my DAX long to 50p per point to take some profit. Currently
it has failed to meet my target (only hitting 4650 before dropping). I
will keep the trade open until either break-even or target is hit.

2) Using another trading account I opened a DAX short from 4638
(stoploss 4655) in case the DAX shows more weakness. Stoploss now moved
to breakeven. Target is 4500.

Tealeaf Trader - a refreshing change!

Update - 1st Sept 2010

23rd August 2010

9th and 10th Aug 2010

8th August 2010

5th August 2010

4th August 2010

3rd August 2010

2nd Aug 2010

30th July 2010

29th Jul 2010

July 28th 2010

27th July 2010

July 26th 2010

Equity curve - Jul 23rd 2010

Equity curve

Equity curve

July 2010

DAX, long, £2/pt, 6015 - demo

Stopped out of trade yesterday.

DAX, long, £2/pt, 6140 - demo

And so...

June 2010

I am an addict.

The end of the beginning ...

December 09

Test - dec 09

For what its worth ...

Don't want to talk right now ...

Still here ...

THE LAST TIME!

Discipline versus Instinct

Another Monday ...

Bad start ...

Tues PM update ...

Keeping it tight ...

Update ..

Nearly ...

Monday again ...

confession

The Precipice

usual story ...

Back on the track...

The Precipice

Lying ...

Stepped off ...

Kidding myself

Happy Monday...

Up and down!

Spouting more ...

Burn out??

Quite out of it...

despondent

More midweek...

Midweek update

what the problem really is ...

Volatility

Monday update

First live trade...

Another Friday ...

overtrading

Still in f*cked-up-city

f*ck up ... again

New week

Lost it...

temptation

Spinning

So far, so ...

Too many positions

Thoughts...

update

concentration

New trades

Closed DAX trade

Update

A step closer

Re-think

Hmmm

F*ckeditup!!

more ...